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[24 May 2005|05:18pm] |
I never have to attend high school again.
Mike and I had an excited screaming fest after school to express our glee.
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[21 May 2005|03:13am] |
At 2:30 AM I began cutting my own hair for the first time in my life.
It was sort of momentous. Now I just think I should have cut a lot more.
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[19 May 2005|10:57pm] |
Why have I not studied for my Government exam at all since mentioning the vast amount of reviewing I had left to do last night? The apathy is incredible.
I am going to see Star Wars tomorrow. I saw the last one that came out in my freshman year. That's quite an interesting coincidence that has happened.
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[15 May 2005|09:05pm] |
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music |
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universal traveller - air |
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Somehow I think that mood is returning. That one that was with me when I got my first digital camera and lost all capability to do anything but photograph everything and walk around seeing photographs everywhere.
I like it this time around so much better. It's truly insane to me that things are so vastly better than they were a couple years ago. It's helped me realize that nothing is ever a trap. Nothing is ever set in stone, nothing is ever not bendable, not mendable.
It feels good.
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[01 May 2005|02:12pm] |
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music |
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you're no rock 'n roll fun - sleater-kinney |
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 I think this sentence is just filler because I've been sitting here staring at the screen with so many thoughts running through my head that don't want to stop and be written out and explained except that I sat on the floor of a bookstore last night and read a crisp new copy of The Philosophy of Andy Warhol's chapter on death and I've been thinking about death in general which doesn't make any sense to me because it's so pretty outside and things have been going pretty well so I decided that there's nothing about death that's weird or bad if I can sit here on such a nice day and philosophize about it and the other night Nicole told me that her philosophy is that we don't really have fears it's just that we're afraid of death and I don't know if that could ever be any more true and easy to digest than it is right now it just seems like the last twelve hours or so have been very revelatory for me in the quietest of ways and sometimes that's the best way just like waking up happy or like when you're reading and you get to the end of a sentence and your brain stops at the dot and you have to stop and think about it because it's like the most impacting red light you've ever approached and you just put the book down.
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[27 Apr 2005|06:08pm] |
I feel like running away from Livejournal.
Matthew, my nerdy boy friend, found my journal. I was fine with that because we are nerdy friends. But now other friends are friends with his journal. Which leads to my journal. And I don't want those friends to be my internet friends.
AH internet and real life, why do you mingle so awkwardly sometimes?
Oh yeah, PS:
A bakery is "hiring." I'm so interested that it's weird to me.
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[25 Apr 2005|08:17pm] |
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music |
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lucky #9 - the moldy peaches |
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( KIMYA! Kristen and Michael's house fiasco. )
It's so nice to be reminded that there are those wonderful people in the world
that just can't be compared to anything or anyone else.
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[23 Apr 2005|01:39pm] |
Never before has a form been a gigantic step in my life.
Cheers. I think I'm okay with that.
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[21 Apr 2005|09:59am] |
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music |
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the only one - the charades |
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I had dreams last night that are becoming hard to discern from what may be reality.
Nonetheless, the reality of yesterday evening was so wonderful.
Despite my being so strangely ill right now. I should probably go to a doctor. But I don't do that.
I'll just keep up with the sentence fragments.
Lounging around in your underwear and listening to music is fun.
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[17 Apr 2005|11:12pm] |
( BOSTON (kind of mostly) )
I don't know why I was unsure of leaving/visiting. It's not like I really want to be back here, other than for a few people. It took no time at all for the lameness of SA to reappear after I'd stepped off of the plane.
Boston is so very comfortable for me. Emerson is cozy. Even meeting people off the internet and being creepy and weird like that was okay. And hanging out with the Cheena gang was fantastic. The good vibes do not end. (Aside from insane Celtics fans on the T late at night)
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[13 Apr 2005|07:09pm] |
I am wearing sandals and a t-shirt with the sleeves rolled up today, and it is still hot. But tomorrow? Quite contrary. My suitcase is almost comical compared to the weather outside the window.
A special "I won't be back for five days" goodbye was made for a few people yester/today. Now that it's all done, I feel a bit of a choked feeling. It's just the idea that I'm likely to be saying real goodbyes in no time. And I've never really learned how to do that, I've never moved around yet I've never been concrete. I'd rather people drift in and out of my life without any real said prospect of what the future holds for our relations. Perhaps the permanence of the goodbye feeling is deceiving, and things will just keep ebbing and tiding. I'd rather they did.
I guess admittance comes again. I'm fucking scared and I'm sure my brain would explode because of it if I let it. But if I've learned anything from living, it's just to keep onward. Those things that are good for you have magnetism. They're not far ahead of or behind you, if they're not already beside you.
PS: Smiling so big that you're afraid the neighbors are watching is the most fantastic feeling. There are certain people in the world who are so wonderful that there just isn't a word for them.
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[07 Apr 2005|09:48pm] |
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music |
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reflections after jane - the clientele |
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Emerson just mailed me the "Max Mutchnick Scholarship."
AKA $15,000 per year (for four years) for you in the name of the Emerson grad/brain of Will & Grace.
That is, if you write an essay explaining how you are an advocate for gay and lesbian students.
That's really exciting except I have no idea how to explain any advocacy I may have participated in and the only idea I've had that sounded "clever" doesn't seem very applicable. And I have exactly one week. Come to me, IDEAS.
 
I was quite the sly fox today.
And also abruptly and fervently creative.
It was pretty sexy.
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[05 Apr 2005|09:47pm] |
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music |
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the fuss - snoozer |
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You know what? I love trees--but fuck them their reproductive activity.
Or maybe just the Oak trees. Pollen be damned. For I am daily tortured, testing my will to survive.
Today is not a day that I am happy for spring to have arrived.
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[31 Mar 2005|10:37pm] |
Dancing around to sweaty boys in a band in a room full of people standing still is oh so fun.
So is being sung to about the pollen on your car, in a manner rather reminiscent of Mirah's, "Pollen."
And so is rolling down the windows of the car and letting your hand float on the wind.
(accompanied by good music, of course).
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[30 Mar 2005|10:49pm] |
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music |
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banana pancakes - jack johnson |
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I forgot I had this essay to do for English. So I attacked it. And I ended up getting pissed off at poor, long dead Machiavelli's "The Qualities of the Prince."
Take, for example, the United States as a militaristic “prince” looking to apply Machiavelli's advice on always being armed. This nation already has that covered. So how is it that the US is still so despised by many, even our own “soldiers” (in the sense of not only our soldiers, but our citizens as a whole), who, according to Machiavelli, should “be esteemed” (Machiavelli 38) to their prince? It appears that even Machiavelli didn't take into account the context of his work, and by placing “A Prince's Duty Concerning Military Matters” (Machiavelli 37) as the first of his six points, and other points such as, “On Cruelty and Mercy and Whether It Is Better to Be Loved Than to Be Feared or the Contrary” (Machiavelli 43) and “On Avoiding Being Despised and Hated” (Machiavelli 48) at the latter of his essay he so inadvertently expressed the importance of each matter to the reader, or even, as they should be to the prince himself.
And then I realized that I need not delete this paragraph. It actually applies to my prompt.
Hah! And... back to work.
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[26 Mar 2005|03:13pm] |
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music |
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springtime in new york - jonathan richman |
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I don't know where the day went.
It's 3:00 PM and I've had pancakes and apples and tea, (watched it start to pour rain) tried to fix a camera, (watched the sun come out) and engrossed myself in music.
I kind of like the warped time perspective of today.
Especially since most of the time must have been spent with music.
And somehow Joni Mitchell always ends up in my mixtapes.
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[25 Mar 2005|08:09pm] |
I had the most relaxed and chill (albeit horribly hot as far as temperature goes) summery sort of day.
I don't think it could have been any better.
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hcabnesie's journal
